DEFENDING HONOUR
She looked contented, asleep with a hint of a smile on her face, uncharacteristically at peace. As Martha stood over her mother's casket it seemed so ironic, so unfair to her. Losing her mother was losing everything, yet it was Mom who took everything from her so long ago. Now after thirty-seven years she felt that she should be free. She kept her promise for all this time, now what would it matter to her mother if the whole world knew her secret; the secret that held her captive for thirty-seven years. She should be free. She deserved to be free.
Jill stood at the other side of the casket sobbing quietly. She too had lost a mother. She looked up at Martha, searching her sister's eyes for comfort. "If she only knew," thought Martha. "If I could only tell her that her mother is not dead. If I could only hold her like I longed to for the last thirty-seven years, not as her sister. But should I now after all this time? Could I now tell her how violently she was conceived in me? How my mother carried me far away to hide our family's shame, and took her from me and raised her as her own child? Would the truth now destroy her innocence? No, I am still not free. I am still forever an eternal victim with my truth." Martha reached out and held Jill's hand and wept bitterly.
Who could tell that her tears were not for losing a mother but a daughter? As they walked away from the casket the promise to her mother which bound Martha seemed to weaken and fade. Her chains were in the casket and were going to be buried with her mother. Her mind was made up. Jill would know, but not now, not today.
They sat in silence in the fourth pew of the chapel, two rows behind Jill's father. Not even he knew. After all the years there was not much hate left for her uncle, the boy who stole her innocence. Here time was her friend and forgetfulness more precious than memories. "But he had no right to know anyway," she thought. Then again, he seemed so different now than that bold-faced angry boy who raped her. Now he holds a high and respected position in society. His wife and children, are they not good people? Surely, they do not deserve the horrors that are bound to follow this sad truth. "How unfair." Martha questioned, why must I be responsible for their honour? Thirty-seven years ago he ripped off my clothes Now must I clothe him with my silence and hide his sins? Is this what the preacher calls one of the seven acts of mercy-to clothe the naked? Why must I be the one to struggle under this burden? Why can I not even now get justice?" But she knew how unsettling it could be for her daughter if she went too far with all this. “Justice may be my right” she thought, “but I suppose that sometimes it is not right to demand one’s rights.”
Is it ever unwise to demand one's rights?
Was Martha's mother right to claim her daughter's child as her own?
Did she do this to protect the honour of her daughter and grandchild or did she do it to protect her own pride?
When she realized that her daughter was raped, should Martha's mother have reported the crime to the police?
Now as her mother is dead, is Martha still bound to keep her promise not to tell anyone her secret?
Was Martha ever morally bound to keep the promise?
Should Martha be concerned about the honour of her uncle or his family?
Thirty-seven years after the crime, should the uncle be made to stand the consequences for it?
Is he ever entitled to know that Jill is his daughter?
Is Jill entitled to know who her biological mother is?
If it will greatly upset her emotionally, should Jill be told the truth?
Mr. Smith was an abusive husband who would often come home drunk and beat everyone there. His wife and children lived in constant fear of him. Many times the neighbours would carry the battered members of Smith's family to hospital. Sometimes the wounds were quite serious, but still no one had the courage to report the situation to the police. No one understood why Mrs. Smith stayed in the home with her children. She had many friends who were eager to support her any time she decided to leave, but she never did. She kept making excuses for her husband's behaviour and discouraging anyone from taking any action against him. Sadly, as in so many similar cases, the situation ended one day when her youngest son died under his father's frenzied blows.
Apart from Mr. Smith, was anyone else partly responsible for the son's death?
Why do you think Mrs. Smith defended her husband's behaviour?
Did Mrs. Smith do enough to defend her children?
Why do abused people stay in abusive situations? What part does fear, or lack of support, or not knowing where to get help, play in sustaining abusive situations?
Did the neighbours do enough to defend the abused people? Was it their duty to get more involved?
Gail never liked the people next door, so when she discovered that the neighbour's husband was cheating on his wife, she lost no time in spreading the news. Of course, she had to embellish the story a bit for effect. "Everyone had to know just what kind of people lived there," she thought. As the neighbour's name became more and more tarnished there was a degree of satisfaction in Gail. Gail's own husband, however, was no better although his wife was unaware of his philandering. The neighbour of whom she gossiped knew but said not a word to anyone. He did not feel that it was his place to spread news like that, nor did he feel that he had any moral authority to even tell Gail.
Which is the greater wrong; the neighbour's infidelity or Gail's publications of it?
When is it right and when is it not, to make public the wrongs of another?
If we find satisfaction in the dishonour of another, are we aligning ourselves with that person or are we aligning ourselves with the thing which brings dishonour? Are we using something which is wrong (the thing which brings dishonour) for our own selfish pleasure?
If we find joy in the wrong deeds of another, do we in some way share that person's guilt?
Garth hurried up the three flights of stairs and entered the apartment. His partner was already tending to the woman on the ground. It seemed that she suffered a stroke. As they were putting the patient onto the stretcher Garth glanced around. Puzzled, he thought, "this could not be Julian's apartment." The furniture was old and broken. Paint was peeling off walls at various places. A cord held the refrigerator door almost closed, "But he drives a fancy, expensive car and is always well dressed,” Garth recalled; “Julian was the typical socialite." Garth could not understand how his old schoolmate whom everyone looked up to, could have fallen on such bad times. No one would have known though. Well, he might not have been the successful businessman the community thought he was, but he certainly succeeded in making people believe that he was.
As they hurried out of the building and towards the ambulance, Garth noticed Julian approaching. "Thanks a lot for coming so quickly." Julian started. Then, as he recognised who the paramedic was, he exclaimed with exasperation, "Garth?". Julian's tone went from relief to concern. With a reassuring smile Garth answered, "do not worry, you are safe with us." Julian was obviously agitated, knowing that Garth was now aware of his unfortunate position. His social standing was all he thought he had. But he had something much more than that. He had a true friend in Garth who never spoke a word to anyone about his old schoolmate's secret.
Why was it important to Julian for people not to know his financial problems?
Does Garth have a responsibility to keep what he discovers about people in the course of his job secret?
Does Garth have a responsibility to protect the illusion of his classmate as it was so important to him (Julian)?
How important is your image to you?
Is it wrong to deliberately embarrass another person?
Dominic invited his entire class to his birthday party. There was more than enough food and drinks to go around, and everyone was having a great time. Among Dominic's guests was a classmate named Sharaz. It was well known that Sharaz kept faithful to his religious practices and one of these was that he must not eat pork. During the festivities Sharaz made it his duty to enquire about the foods available and Dominic assured him that nothing there was made with that particular meat. It was only when Dominic saw Sharaz putting a pastel on his plate that he remembered that a small amount of pork fat was put in it for flavour. Dominic thought "What harm could it do? Sharaz would not be the wiser," and he left his friend to enjoy the meal.
Did Dominic breach Sharaz's honour by letting him eat pork?
If no one else found out, would Dominic's actions have any ill effect on his relationship with Sharaz? Would their relationship be honest?
Have you ever dishonoured anyone without their knowing of it?
Is it our duty to protect the honour of others?
Should we respect the rights of others to have religious observances different from our own?
Does honouring others always require showing respect for the things which are precious to them?
How do you show appreciation for the sensitivities of others?
Activity: Write the names of three people who you think most respect you. Write the name of one person who has defended your honour (for example: by keeping an embarrassing incident secret or deliberately not exposing a weakness of yours, or in any other way). Write down any one person who you tried to hurt by attacking their honour or good name. Describe any way you can help rebuild the honour of anyone whose honour has been damaged.