GENEROSITY
"Is there something you can do with right now; Something you really need; Something you really want?"
If 100 people are asked that question one will probably get about 100 different answers. Even if many would say "money," what each would do with it would be different from the others. Responses might range from new sneakers to a new car. Perhaps some may want some change in a relationship with a father, mother, girl, or boy-friend. Whatever it is it would probably be aimed at improving some aspect of life. Everyone wants to make life more comfortable and meaningful, and this desire can hardly be considered a negative in anyone.
Consider another question. "If there is something you can do for anyone other than yourself, what would it be and for whom?"
Again, there would be a myriad of responses all coming from a generous spirit. Most people would think of others who mean a lot to them, and the depth of their love would be apparent.
The most revealing question, however, is this. "If the choice was that you either get the thing that you really want for yourself or you do for the other person in the second question what you have in your heart to do, which would you choose?"
Charles was a hardworking mechanic who after work one day sat down exhausted at the table to have dinner. He was looking forward to settling down early that night for a well-deserved rest. Before he could take a second bite the phone rang. It was Gus, his friend who lived four houses down. There had been an accident and Gus' daughter needed to go to the hospital urgently. It probably was not life threatening. She fell off her bike and broke her arm and was in some pain. Gus had no vehicle and although he and his daughter could have walked the 200 metres to the main road to take a taxi, he felt that the better thing to do was to call upon his trusty and loyal friend.
Would it be acceptable in the context of the relationship between Charles and Gus that Charles finishes his meal and freshens up, before he attends to Gus and his daughter?
Should we give only when it is convenient for us to give?
Would Charles be obligated to help if Gus was not his friend?
Does a person have the right to expect a friend to help them even when it is very inconvenient for that friend to do so?
Is it our duty to be generous? Is it one's duty to help others whenever possible?
Should one expect anything in return for helping others?
Should one keep track of the good deeds that one does?
Some things may be good or bad in themselves but sometimes does morality lie in making a choice between two good things (like having dinner or carrying an injured child to hospital)?
Could it be bad to do a good thing when there is a greater good to be done at the same time?
How often do we choose to do good to ourselves before helping others even when the needs of others are much greater than our own?
Are people obligated to help others when asked?
Are people obligated to offer assistance to others without being asked, when there is an apparent need?
Suppose that evening Charles had some boring function to attend and secretly welcomed the opportunity to carry the little girl to hospital; if just to have an excuse to miss the meeting. Would there be any moral merit there?
It was the last hours of the last day of the Carnival and Gus was very tired. The headpiece of his costume was beginning to feel like it weighed 10 kilos. He took it off and held it in his hand as he walked by. A young boy at the side of the parade sensing that he would have liked to get rid of it asked him for the head piece. Now, Gus knew that his daughter had her eye on it and had already asked him to have it after the carnival. However, he did not actually promise her and it was really a bother so he left it with the young boy.
Was Gus generous in letting the boy have the head piece?
Would it have been a greater generosity for Gus to bear the discomfort of carrying the head piece for a little longer and then give it to his daughter
What is the difference between giving and generosity?
Can anyone be generous with something he/she does not care for?
A mother who gives her daughter a gift might or might not care for the thing given. However, if it makes her daughter happy, she shares in her daughter's happiness because she cares for the daughter. Then, does generosity always have two aspects to it: giving and caring, caring for the thing which is given and/or more importantly, for the one who is to receive the gift?
Is there a link between generosity and love?
If one gives a gift with a little degree of caring, and another gives a similar gift with a great degree of caring, which act is more generous?
If you give a gift to someone whom you love, do you give it so that you will be happy or to make the other person happy? Even though you may not be concerned with your own happiness when giving the gift, still, would you not experience some joy in being generous to a friend?
It may be obvious that one can bear a sacrifice of pain in giving, but can one also bear a sacrifice of joy in giving generously? Are "joy" and "sacrifice" contradictory terms?
A young man and his girlfriend were to go to a party on Saturday. The Thursday before, however, the girl contracted a virus and could not go to the party. She urged her boyfriend to still attend the party, but he knew she really preferred he did not attend. Although he really wanted to go to the party he decided not to go.
Did the young man in the story display generosity toward his girlfriend?
What did he sacrifice and what did he give?
Could he have found joy in the fact that he gave up something he wanted for his friend?
On her wedding night, Carol had a severe migraine. Although it was not her fault, she felt guilty for not being attentive to her husband. That night as they lay in bed Carol knew that her husband was disappointed. Edward, her husband, knew she was in pain but asked her again anyway for physical intimacy. Out of a sense of duty and a great deal of love she gave in and bore her pain quietly for him.
Was it love that Edward expressed on his wedding night?
Would it have been a greater expression of love/generosity for Edward to forego physical intimacy at that time?
What is the difference between taking pleasure from another and receiving pleasure from another?
How often do we use other people in the name of love?
What was Carol's gift? How generous was she?
One day Charles was ill, and his son decided to stay home from school to make sure that his father was alright. "I would rather you go to school. I know how much you hate to miss classes and I am really not that sick anyway," Charles told his son. But the boy was adamant that he stayed and so he did against the wishes of his father.
Did the son act generously?
Although he was convinced that he should stay with his father, would it have been a greater act of generosity for the son to submit his will to the higher authority of his father and do what his father asked?
Is there a link between generosity and obedience?
Even if all generous acts involve sacrifice, whether the sacrifice involves discomfort, pain or joy, is obedience the only generous act which could involve nothing else but the sacrifice of one's will to a higher authority?
Must the obedient person feel anything pleasant or unpleasant to make the act of obedience generous?
Is there anything more precious to Man than his will?
Could there be any greater act of generosity than obedience to authority?
Suppose a man believes that a “God,” which is an authority greater than man, wants each person to give freely to others according to one's ability and the others' needs. If that man's acts of generosity are done out of obedience to this higher authority, will he be acting in the most generous way possible?
Suppose a man was treated badly by someone and wanted to get even with that person but felt that 'an authority greater than man' wanted him to forgive. By choosing the 'will of this authority and rejecting his desire for revenge, would the man be showing generosity to the other person or to "the authority', or both?
Do you think the man would be acting more out of a love for his 'higher authority' or a love for the other person?
Is generosity simply doing what we were created to do?
Would joy come from the freedom to be ourselves as we think we were created to be? Is there joy in giving?
Consider the following approaches to obligations/generosity.
No one chose to be born. We did not choose to be in a world where so many would call upon us for help from time to time. Why should we have any obligations unless we consciously accept to be our brother's or sister's helper?
We admire and praise people in society who put service to others before their own interests. We see in them an ideal of the way we ought to be. Perhaps our purpose is to serve others in need, and we are obligated by nature to be generous to others.
I did not choose to be born nor promise to assist anyone in life, but how thankful I am for having the honour to assist my neighbour in whatever way I can. For me there are no obligations, only opportunities. In them I find my joy, my peace.
Which of the above approaches to obligations would you prefer your best friend to have?
Which of the above is closest to your own approach to your obligations?
Consider someone who gives humbly and another who receives the gift humbly. Is there a difference (spiritually) between the giving and the receiving? How generous an act is it to give thanks?
Activity: Review old newspapers or magazines for stories and articles, which displayed the generosity of some person or group. Paste these in your journal making judgements concerning the possible motivations for these generous acts.