TENACITY

Doris' daughter was in a coma for four years as a result of a motor-vehicle accident. The doctors gave very little hope for any recovery even before the first operation, but Doris never gave up. For hours each day she would be by her daughter's bedside talking and reading to her daughter in the faint hope that the girl might be able to hear her somehow. The doctors too said that that was just about the only thing anyone could do.

But there is a level of emotional stress which accompanies this type of hope against all odds. Questions constantly plague the mind, constantly assessing and reassessing if it is all worth it: Does it make sense to cut back on the time she would spend with the other members of her family to stay with her comatose child? What if she never recovers? Have you not done all you could have done already? Why do you not give it up and get on with the rest of your life?

When the child eventually gained consciousness, Doris was convinced that the recovery was due to her persistence. Perhaps she was right or perhaps she needed to believe that to justify her persistence.

Should Doris have simply left her daughter in the capable hands of the hospital staff and gone about the rest of her life?

Does her persistent hope say something about her love for her daughter?

Do you think that Doris' persistence aided her daughter's healing?

Is there anything in your life which you should never give up on?

If you have prayed for something for a while but got discouraged and stopped, does that indicate that you really did not want it enough?

Are you tenacious about things which really matter?

Do relationships survive if people give up easily on each other?

Would someone who gives up easily make a good boyfriend or girlfriend?

If you make a list of virtues where would tenacity be, close to the top or somewhere else?

Ronnie gave up trying to quit smoking a long time ago. He managed to stop for four days at one time but after seeing one of his friends smoking in a mall his resolve weakened and he quickly reverted to his old habit. Sometimes he thought about his uncle who was a chain smoker but now never smokes. Perhaps his uncle was right, Ronnie thought. Among the many things his uncle used to say were the following:

"If he stopped for half a day before his next cigarette, he did not fail to quit smoking but actually succeeded in stopping for half a day. Perhaps the next time he would succeed for three-quarters of a day. Perhaps he would eventually succeed in quitting smoking altogether. but he would definitely not succeed if he quit trying. Anything worth doing is worth failing at until success can be accomplished. And if you stop trying it means that you are not really resolved to succeed." "Perhaps," Ronnie thought, "I simply am not ready to quit smoking."

In trying to be rid of bad habits how important is it to acknowledge small triumphs?

It is said that the price of freedom is eternal vigilance. Is this also the price of not returning to bad habits?

Is the price of "spiritual freedom" (as you understand it) eternal vigilance of one's thoughts and actions?

How important is tenacity in trying to improve one's character?

Could concentrating on failures be too discouraging?

Does failing at a task mean that nothing was gained? Does it mean that trying was a waste of time?

Is there anything worthwhile which is not worth hard work and persistence?

Does failure ever teach us anything?

Three boys were vying for the last place in the soccer squad. The first was very skilful with the ball but was unreliable as far as attending practice sessions were concerned. The second was physically strong and very good at obeying instructions but was not nearly as committed to working hard as the third boy. The third had a reputation of not giving up on anything he started. He had little natural ability and was the weakest of the three but possessed the greatest willingness to learn and to train.

If you were the coach, which of the three would you pick on the squad?

On what basis would you make your choice?

In time could tenacity make the weak strong and the unskilled skilled? Is it greater than talent?

Activity: Recall a few things which you tried to accomplish in the past and have given up on. Reassess whether any are worth working at again. Recall what happens (or what you think or do) before and after you fail at the endeavour. Work more on changing what happens before and (if you fail) after trying to accomplish your goal than on the goal itself. Change the process that leads to failure and any comforts you take after failure. Imagine, for example, that your goal is to study harder, but you often give in to the temptation of playing ball with friends instead, and after playing have a good meal or watch television. You might try to avoid your playmates at that time or go somewhere else. If you do get distracted from your studies, you might try to skip television or the meal.